mostly there are the days when you feel numb
there are the days when the pain is so excruciating you could fall into a black hole and never come back out
and then there are the days when you don't know whether to laugh, cry or kill yourself
i talk often about selling my soul. it seems its all i ever do. but just when i think i have no soul left they find a way to extract a little bit more and i remember what its like to be human, to hurt.
of course people think when i talk about selling my soul i'm talking about sex, and when i talk about never paying for anything with money but by other means, they think i mean sex. well yes, it has played a very big part in my life but theres so much more people can take. sex is just a blip on the radar when it comes to tearing myself apart and allowing people to take bits away with them.
i'll bet, when i go back next week nobody will even notice anything ... or they just won't care. (history has me expecting the latter more)